can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
