Little spoons don't ask big questions
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
