Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
my poor anus
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
