She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Randomize
