We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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