You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I want her autograph on my taint
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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