My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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