idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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