so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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