I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
