I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
