I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize