i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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