ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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