He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
it was like eating out sand paper
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I think people are normalizing furries
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
