So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
