I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
This is not my ceiling
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
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