honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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