yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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