The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
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