We're like a lot better than the average bears
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Ladies don't puke and tell
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
