she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Randomize
