If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
