GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
