She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
