Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
