I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
