When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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