You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
