a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
