feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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