You work out of a Hotel?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
