Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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