Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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