Come see our sink grown plant.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I am naked and annoyed.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize