Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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