thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
