Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
