i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
