Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
