Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video

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(516): View more from New York

you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers

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(806): View more from Texas

I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car

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(626): View more from California

Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.

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(813): View more from Florida

I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.

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(909): View more from California

Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.

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