Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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