I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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