I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
