I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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