Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
