woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
