Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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