If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
