Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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