Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize