tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
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