And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
