I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
