i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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