I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
i believe in u and ur pee
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize