Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
