fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
