Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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