Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize