Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
