I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
