My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
